The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
