I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
