You can't special order awesome
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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