If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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