someone get that fucking seahorse.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
This is my gift to your gina
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
