So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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