You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
