OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
