i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
