I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
