Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
