She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
