I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
