You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
