She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
