So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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