Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
