found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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