when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize