loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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