After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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