Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
