HIV tests are more positive than that guy
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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