it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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