so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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