Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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