she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
