seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
My liver is preforming stress tests.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize