Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
