i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
