He uses pillows to masturbate.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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