i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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