Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
