umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
