Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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