STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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