You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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