Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
