To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
