Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize