So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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