I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
