I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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