So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
It's official drugs can't kill me
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
