Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
