he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
