no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
