Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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