He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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