so that wasnt chicken after all
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I touched a dick in church today
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
