If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
