Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
