a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
My breasts were aching with rage.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
