??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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