I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
