I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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