talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
