that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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