you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
