just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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