billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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